English / 04.02.2020 / 1049
Innocent pranks, unlike new-fashioned biohacking, do extend life
— I check my body every year. I pass all the necessary tests. Also, what do you think about biohacking? — asks another nouveau riche. The guy made a lot of money, and immediately he had a strong desire to save progress — stay as healthy and rich. People like him throw spears of advice at the topic of a long life:
— You should only eat raw meat!
— Don't eat meat! Only vegetables!
— You should starve once every three months.
— Do not starve, rather eat less every day. No more than a thousand calories a day!
— It's not about the food, it's about the place, where you live. Have you heard of green zones?
— Don't eat fat!
— Fat is good. Scientists have found out. There's good cholesterol, and there's a harmful one!
— I have special vitamins. And throw away any food waste!
— We should stay out in the cold a little longer. The English are accustomed to the cold from childhood!
I like to have conversations with biohackers in Cypriot taverns. I enjoy a fat slice of pizza with four kinds of cheese during the conversation. I wash it down with black sweet (no medium, only sweet) coffee. And then I ask for a glass of cognac and light a cigarette. And you should order pizza when you meet with biohackers, too. Some "health nuts" can't stand it and grab a slice. They consume it with a sense of shame about the carbs they get. And of course, they think you're a tempting snake:
— Take a bite of the pizza of knowledge! You'll understand what good and evil are...
— I need to self-determine myself! — our interlocutor started with a banality. Ilya and I experienced a toothache. From the depths of memory rose the shadows of businessmen who had lost their lives in attempts to determine themselves, or rather to put a label on themselves. In the meantime, our vis-a-vis was throwing the names of the great ones on the table:
— Nassim Taleb — this is the second writer after Nikolai Mokhov (Nikolai Mokhov's ego is growing like the bitcoin exchange rate during a hype), John (well, of course, Grinder, co-founder of NLP), Castaneda (no wonder our interlocutor practiced tensegrity)...
And then he told his story. And his story refuted the theories of many respected authors, including those mentioned. I would write this story down with a pen, roll up the paper, and put it in a bottle, go out to sea on a yacht, and throw it into deep waters. But I don't have a yacht, and I don't have a pen, so read the letters electronically...
“The problem is, Nikolai, that you never finish anything you start. You don’t even have a degree,” my girlfriend scolded me. We were on the subway.
She had just received some money to make a website, where she would eventually put up some boring local news. The site had dramatically less subscribers than even her Facebook page. In a couple years, the project went bankrupt. But she never lost her faith in the magical formula:
“You need closure. Every beginning has an end…”
A fat writer Dima Bykov in poor health with his head held high has distinguished himself. He has decided to rank in descending order the passed away colleagues. Some of them has been ranked first, others take second and even third places. Sergei Dovlatov has been taken down a peg next to his classmates. The teacher Bykov gave him a satisfactory grade. He even didn’t hide that he wanted to give him a poor grade.
Dima Bykov has unleashed a war on social media by his ranking. Somebody noticed that the teacher is not good even at his own domain. Someone replied that he have been aware of Dovlatov’s bad marks... I was astonished by the desire to make value judgements about literature and even the literary characters. This approach reeks of the judgments of school teachers. It's not the most pleasant aroma...
As any person in their right mind, many years ago I would have found the question ridiculous. What do you mean, “Why?” Isn’t it obvious? It's love, it's family, that’s just how it goes, it’s human nature, what am I, some kind of loner… bottom line: I had a lot of answers to such a silly question.Read more...