

English / 04.02.2020 / 3603
Innocent pranks, unlike new-fashioned biohacking, do extend life
— I check my body every year. I pass all the necessary tests. Also, what do you think about biohacking? — asks another nouveau riche. The guy made a lot of money, and immediately he had a strong desire to save progress — stay as healthy and rich. People like him throw spears of advice at the topic of a long life:
— You should only eat raw meat!
— Don't eat meat! Only vegetables!
— You should starve once every three months.
— Do not starve, rather eat less every day. No more than a thousand calories a day!
— It's not about the food, it's about the place, where you live. Have you heard of green zones?
— Don't eat fat!
— Fat is good. Scientists have found out. There's good cholesterol, and there's a harmful one!
— I have special vitamins. And throw away any food waste!
— We should stay out in the cold a little longer. The English are accustomed to the cold from childhood!
I like to have conversations with biohackers in Cypriot taverns. I enjoy a fat slice of pizza with four kinds of cheese during the conversation. I wash it down with black sweet (no medium, only sweet) coffee. And then I ask for a glass of cognac and light a cigarette. And you should order pizza when you meet with biohackers, too. Some "health nuts" can't stand it and grab a slice. They consume it with a sense of shame about the carbs they get. And of course, they think you're a tempting snake:
— Take a bite of the pizza of knowledge! You'll understand what good and evil are...
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Oh! Were you expecting something? That’s odd. So many people gathered, and nothing’s happening. No-thing. Absolutely nothing. Can you imagine it? You might have thought we’d have a new text for you here, maybe even a story. One with elements of philosophical and theological discussion, one filled with real stories and adapted for practical use. So many expectations, and here I am, unprepared. I didn’t write a single word. It’s embarrassing, really. Well, don’t you worry. We’ll find something to “snack on”. I can’t promise a real feast of the mind, but there will be some food for thought. Like a diligent housewife who wasn’t expecting guests, I’ll have to come up with something on the spot. That’s not a problem. I just have to find the first Word. The second one will find itself. And before you know it, we’ll have enough for some salad and a couple sandwiches. It’s no Christmas dinner, sure, but if you pull out that bottle you have stashed away…
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Dima Bykov has unleashed a war on social media by his ranking. Somebody noticed that the teacher is not good even at his own domain. Someone replied that he have been aware of Dovlatov’s bad marks... I was astonished by the desire to make value judgements about literature and even the literary characters. This approach reeks of the judgments of school teachers. It's not the most pleasant aroma...
“What is power? Who needs it?” a pretty girl asked me. It was a difficult question. Talking to a beautiful woman, you want to say something funny, something light-hearted. You want to tell a joke. But talking about power you’re one step away from seeming boring. Can I avoid this fate? I’m afraid no. I’ll have to write my answer, at the risk of being perceived as dull. Well, what else can I do? Maybe at least She’ll read it..?
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