English / 04.02.2020 / 1743
Innocent pranks, unlike new-fashioned biohacking, do extend life
— I check my body every year. I pass all the necessary tests. Also, what do you think about biohacking? — asks another nouveau riche. The guy made a lot of money, and immediately he had a strong desire to save progress — stay as healthy and rich. People like him throw spears of advice at the topic of a long life:
— You should only eat raw meat!
— Don't eat meat! Only vegetables!
— You should starve once every three months.
— Do not starve, rather eat less every day. No more than a thousand calories a day!
— It's not about the food, it's about the place, where you live. Have you heard of green zones?
— Don't eat fat!
— Fat is good. Scientists have found out. There's good cholesterol, and there's a harmful one!
— I have special vitamins. And throw away any food waste!
— We should stay out in the cold a little longer. The English are accustomed to the cold from childhood!
I like to have conversations with biohackers in Cypriot taverns. I enjoy a fat slice of pizza with four kinds of cheese during the conversation. I wash it down with black sweet (no medium, only sweet) coffee. And then I ask for a glass of cognac and light a cigarette. And you should order pizza when you meet with biohackers, too. Some "health nuts" can't stand it and grab a slice. They consume it with a sense of shame about the carbs they get. And of course, they think you're a tempting snake:
— Take a bite of the pizza of knowledge! You'll understand what good and evil are...
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— I remember myself from the age of three...
— But I have memories since I was two.
Friends were arguing about who had the earliest memories. And I realized that I don’t remember myself in childhood... Not that I don’t remember anything at all. I don’t remember winter. I only remember summer and the moment when that summer of my childhood ended.
How are the coolest among us being controlled?
School teachers remind me of elephants on a rope. Do you remember this urban myth? In Africa, a small elephant was tied to a tree with a rope, so that he couldn’t run away. The elephant grew up, but he got used to the rope’s power, which he could now easily tear off. Nevertheless, the habit was stronger than common sense. At the same time, the latter isn’t something they lack. Elephants are highly intelligent animals. They could teach some humans a lesson…
Read more...Dentist's Spartakiade. Or the life of Spartacus
— I used to run like a wolf! I looked at everything in a skirt. And now?.. — says Sparta-cus — a strong man in his 60s.
— The computer is frozen — I can't do an X-ray. Let's go for a smoke, — Spartacus is the dentist of dreams. Even in the middle of treatment, he can offer a smoke break on his balcony, the way to which is through the hallway with a shelving unit. On the shelves are Soviet books on dentistry with new-fashioned magazines...
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