English / 04.02.2020 / 527
Innocent pranks, unlike new-fashioned biohacking, do extend life
— I check my body every year. I pass all the necessary tests. Also, what do you think about biohacking? — asks another nouveau riche. The guy made a lot of money, and immediately he had a strong desire to save progress — stay as healthy and rich. People like him throw spears of advice at the topic of a long life:
— You should only eat raw meat!
— Don't eat meat! Only vegetables!
— You should starve once every three months.
— Do not starve, rather eat less every day. No more than a thousand calories a day!
— It's not about the food, it's about the place, where you live. Have you heard of green zones?
— Don't eat fat!
— Fat is good. Scientists have found out. There's good cholesterol, and there's a harmful one!
— I have special vitamins. And throw away any food waste!
— We should stay out in the cold a little longer. The English are accustomed to the cold from childhood!
I like to have conversations with biohackers in Cypriot taverns. I enjoy a fat slice of pizza with four kinds of cheese during the conversation. I wash it down with black sweet (no medium, only sweet) coffee. And then I ask for a glass of cognac and light a cigarette. And you should order pizza when you meet with biohackers, too. Some "health nuts" can't stand it and grab a slice. They consume it with a sense of shame about the carbs they get. And of course, they think you're a tempting snake:
— Take a bite of the pizza of knowledge! You'll understand what good and evil are...
A dense leader confident in their authority likes to give out orders.
“Because I said so!” the strongman loudly exclaims.
The leader of the 1917 Russian Revolution, comrade Trotsky, called all the shots himself. He did it to show that he was the master of life and death. Trotsky was outsmarted by comrade Stalin.
“The problem is, Nikolai, that you never finish anything you start. You don’t even have a degree,” my girlfriend scolded me. We were on the subway.
She had just received some money to make a website, where she would eventually put up some boring local news. The site had dramatically less subscribers than even her Facebook page. In a couple years, the project went bankrupt. But she never lost her faith in the magical formula:
“You need closure. Every beginning has an end…”