English / 04.02.2020 / 1959
Innocent pranks, unlike new-fashioned biohacking, do extend life
— I check my body every year. I pass all the necessary tests. Also, what do you think about biohacking? — asks another nouveau riche. The guy made a lot of money, and immediately he had a strong desire to save progress — stay as healthy and rich. People like him throw spears of advice at the topic of a long life:
— You should only eat raw meat!
— Don't eat meat! Only vegetables!
— You should starve once every three months.
— Do not starve, rather eat less every day. No more than a thousand calories a day!
— It's not about the food, it's about the place, where you live. Have you heard of green zones?
— Don't eat fat!
— Fat is good. Scientists have found out. There's good cholesterol, and there's a harmful one!
— I have special vitamins. And throw away any food waste!
— We should stay out in the cold a little longer. The English are accustomed to the cold from childhood!
I like to have conversations with biohackers in Cypriot taverns. I enjoy a fat slice of pizza with four kinds of cheese during the conversation. I wash it down with black sweet (no medium, only sweet) coffee. And then I ask for a glass of cognac and light a cigarette. And you should order pizza when you meet with biohackers, too. Some "health nuts" can't stand it and grab a slice. They consume it with a sense of shame about the carbs they get. And of course, they think you're a tempting snake:
— Take a bite of the pizza of knowledge! You'll understand what good and evil are...
Exactly one question determines whether or not to part with a person. The question goes like this:
— Can I live without this person?
If the answer is "I can't live without...", then it's time to break up. The thought of "how can he/she live without me?.." is the same tune. Romantic creatures will tear apart for this story, but it's true. Any affection is harmful. Failure to leave a relationship leads to the one becoming a tyrant, and the other a slave. Even if no one wanted to be a tyrant.